


wounds deeper than flesh

by no_one_here



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alex talks about his parents, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Flashbacks, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26507824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/no_one_here/pseuds/no_one_here
Summary: Alex opens up to Julie about the night he came out to his parents.
Relationships: Alex & Julia Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie
Comments: 7
Kudos: 474





	wounds deeper than flesh

**Author's Note:**

> i love exploring alex's relationship with his parents.

“What about you, Alex?” Julie’s voice asked.

“Huh?” Alex’s head snapped around, looking at her. He had not been paying attention to their conversation at all, choosing instead to focus on a book Julie had lent him. They were all hanging out in her room, a more regular occurrence now that they had become more solid and could actually touch things. He had been so engrossed in his book that he had no idea what they were talking about. 

He shut the book and sat up on Julie’s bed. Whatever they were talking about, Alex immediately picked up that it was not a pleasant topic. Reggie was trying not to catch his eye from his seat at Julie’s desk. His cheeks were a little bit red, not in a flustered way, but in the way that meant he was uncomfortable. Luke was looking down at the ground, also avoiding eye contact from his seated spot on the floor.

Julie repeated her question. “What about your parents?”

Ah. So that’s why they looked like that. They knew he didn’t like talking about it.

It’s not like it was a taboo subject between the boys. For a couple of guys from the ’90s, they were pretty in-tune with their emotions. It was just… really hard for Alex to talk about. Because talking about it meant thinking about it. And thinking about it meant reliving it all over again.

A grimace twisted onto Alex’s face. “Nothing much to tell, really. We didn’t get along.”

“Why?” Julie asked confusedly. Luke opened his mouth to cut her off and change the subject, but Alex shook his head. It was okay. He trusted Julie. Actually, he wanted to tell her. He had been there for her hard stuff; he knew he could trust her with his hard stuff, too.

“I told them I was gay,” he said simply. “They didn’t like that. End of story.”

Her face fell. “That’s awful,” she faltered, moving to sit next to him on her bed.

He shrugged. “It is what it is.” There was no use getting upset over something that happened 25 years ago. At least, that’s what Alex kept saying to himself. “The ’90s were a different time. I like it better now anyway.” That was something Alex could say with 100 percent certainty; he would much rather live as a ghost in 2020 than go back to being a human in the 1990s.

“I’m sorry.” Julie put a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. He looked over and gave her a small smile, leaning into her touch. “Maybe… maybe you could reach out to them,” she suggested. “If they’re still around… Maybe they’ve changed. It’s been 25 years.”

He hadn’t considered that. Still, his answer came quickly. “I don’t want to.”

Julie coaxed him in a soft voice. “But you never know unless you try-”

He stood up from his seated position on her bed quickly. The hand that was on his shoulder quickly slid off. “Julie, I really appreciate you trying to help me, really I do,” he started, trying to keep his composure. “But when I say me and my parents didn’t get along, I don’t mean in the same way Luke and his parents fought or how normal parents fight with their kids.”

He looked over to Luke, not wanting to hurt his feelings by diminishing his parental problems. But the only expression Luke had was concern for him. With Luke… he always knew, deep down, his parents loved him. For Alex, it was different.

Alex’s hands were shaking now. He tried to quell the tremors by flexing his hands, but they wouldn’t go away. “I mean the night I came out to them…”

It was like he was right back in his living room in 1995.

He had taken _months_ to build up his courage. The first people had told had been Luke and Reggie, of course. That had gone way better than he expected; he hadn’t even really meant to tell them. He had just made some comment about a boy he thought was cute in their history class. They had barely given him a second glance, pulling him into a hug and saying they were proud of him for telling them. It was almost a non-event.

But with his parents… he knew it would be different. Just from the way they spoke about those kinds of things. From the crude jokes and snarky side comments and the judging glares they had given when talking about gay people or gay things… he knew this was not going to be fun.

That being said, they were his parents. Maybe they would get over it.

He sat them down at the dinner table on a Sunday night. He told them. He had never regretted anything more.

_“NO SON OF MINE IS A FAGGOT!” his dad roared, pounding his fist on the table. Alex flinched, tears welling up in his eyes. There was a vein popping out of his dad’s forehead, his face bright red. His mother was sobbing violently into her hands, unable to even look at him._

_Alex was frozen in place, unable to even utter a word. He had expected a bad reaction, but this... this was even worse than he could have imagined._

_His dad grabbed him by the lapels and hoisted him to his feet, yelling in his face. “WHO TURNED YOU INTO A QUEER? THOSE BOYS FROM YOUR FUCKING BAND?” His dad spit, his knuckles white from the strength of his grip on Alex’s shirt._

_Alex jerked backward, pulling himself out of his dad’s grip. Tears were spilling down his cheeks. “Wha- NO! No one turned me, dad, I- I’ve always been this way-” His voice broke as he tried to reason with his parents._

_“We’ll get you help, we’ll fix this. We’ll find someone to fix you.” His mother sobbed, standing to move toward him. Alex couldn’t believe what he was hearing._

_He stepped away from her. “I’m not broken, mom. I’M GAY! And nothing is EVER going to change that.”_

_His dad moved lightning fast, letting out a yell and hitting him across the face._

“That was the only time he ever hit me,” Alex said quietly, finished recounting that night. “After that day it wasn’t anything as bad as that, they just… barely acknowledged my existence.”

He hadn’t even realized he’d been pacing while telling Julie his story. Something wet slid over his cheek. He brushed away a tear he hadn’t even realized he’d shed. He looked over at his friends. Luke’s hands were clenched tightly in his lap. Reggie’s face was pale.

As bad as that night had been for him, it was also bad for them. When he called an emergency band meeting that night, they were the ones to pick up his broken pieces. They were the ones who put him back together again after he fell apart. 

Julie had her hand over her mouth, tears spilling over her knuckles. She swallowed a sob. “A-Alex, I-I’m so sorry-”

“It’s okay Julie, you didn’t know,” he reassured, returning to sit next to her on the bed. He took her hand, squeezing it.

He considered her previous point that perhaps his parents had changed their minds over time. “Even if they have changed, I wouldn’t want to talk to them,” Alex decided. “Actually, it’s almost worse if they changed. Because that meant they had the capacity to understand me, the capacity to love me but I just… wasn’t enough.”

He felt an arm wrap around his side. Luke. He rested his head on his best friend’s shoulder. “You’ll always be enough to us, Alex,” Luke promised. Julie nodded vigorously, snuggling in closer to his side. 

Reggie sat next to Julie, pulling them all into one big hug. “We love you so much, dude.”

Julie kissed the back of his hand where it gripped hers. “We’re your family now.”

Alex smiled. “You guys are the only family I need.”


End file.
